Of stinking opinions ‘Why you mustn’t marry any Zim woman who is 25 years older’

I am not yet 25. I will be 25 soon. I don’t foresee marriage on the table by the time I’m 25. I’m not a seer, I just prefer to get married later than 25, if I get married before 25 it will be a good thing. If I get married after 25 or way after 25 it should still be a good thing.

Now, when I read the article about why one must not marry a woman who is 25 years or older I laughed. I laughed because I thought the author was really funny and had a ‘sweetish’ imagination. In my laughter I was offended, offended because I am a woman. Offended because of the way this author chose to depict a woman’s worth. But then, it was just an opinion-like armpits we all have them-yet some stink.

His opinion ignited a heated debate in the NUST library basement with most guys pretending to agree with him, with a few girls getting emotional and probably in the process worrying about whether they are now are cold left overs.

It’s puzzling how a guy above 25 too is free from being a used car, expired milk and so forth and so on. It’s quite disturbing that his assertions should apply only to women and not to men.

Anyway, the whole concept of used goods is alien to me. I need someone who can properly break it down to me by making it a wholly female phenomenon. I need someone who can define ‘used goods’ without their definition being applicable to our ever so adorable male counterparts.

While they do that, may all the sisters above 25 and unmarried know that- the reasons that have kept you from being married are your own. Whether you badly wanted the marriage, or you have been broken hearted or you are pursuing other interests outside marriage-own it.

May you have the heart to know that marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. (I really think so).

But then, there are many other good things, so many of them.

“I realized I could never devote myself, as a faithful husband, to a woman who wasted the prettiest years of her life before she met me.”

I realize that if a man cannot devote, he simply chooses not to. Whether he has the ideas that you ‘wasted’ your ‘prettiest’ years or he thinks you put them into good use. If he is not faithful, he simply is not-finish and clara!

If a man will not look at you twice because you are above 25, then he probably was never going to give you any attention at 19.

I am probably superstitious, but I believe if what will be, will be. If marriage is meant for you (and the other way round), you will be married, to the one person who loves you and knows the precious years of your life are not the ones behind but ahead of you.

Whatever the product this guy was talking about, it can be valued at whatever price you want. Whatever prime years of beauty he meant-they can be what you want and can be seen differently by different people.

Let no one set the benchmark for the right time to get married. Let nobody pressure you.

As females delay marriage longer, I believe they become wiser in the choices they make. They become accessible to the people worth their time, space and money too.

Just in a few words

8 comments

  1. Thank you for finally writing an article to show that marriage is not a race where automatically the one who gets there first will be the happiest one. I support marriage after 25 because that means you have evaluated your choices and chose THE ONE who will be able to make you happy. The author of “not marry a woman who is 25 years or older” is most probable suffering from some bitter grapes and to him l want to say just because it happened to you does not mean it will happen to everyone so just get over yourself buddy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for engaging. I can’t agree more. It could also be a case of those people that often speak for the sake of having said something to provoke, insult and degrade without meaning it. Which is bad.

      Like

  2. Thanks Vimbai. As usual, I agree. I think there are standards that society has set for women and men to uphold, that hinder our ability to think, act and exist outside peoples’ expectations or understandings of what our ‘roles’ are. The sad thing is that he isn’t the only man who thinks this way. We need to constantly be asking ourselves what conditions made it possible for someone to write a post so drenched in misogyny. We need to start taking apart the thinking that has allowed these feelings towards women to fester and boil over. Thanks again for this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for engaging. The sadder thing is that even many other women have bought into that line of thinking. The most important thing is that role emphasis should be mainstreamed. We cannot in this century be raising girls to only aspire to ‘wifehood’. In re-reading the article he wrote, I wonder if he truly understands the loaded meanings his words carry and if he entirely believes in all he said.

      Like

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    Like

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