So I can confirm that a young woman in her mid twenties will hear the word marriage more than she wants or would have anticipated she would hear it.
When this semester begun my male classmates where on my case and interrogating me on when I would get married considering that during the course of this degree programme some of my female counterparts have found their soulmates.
Since the beginning of this year I have met several classmates from primary and high school and interestingly the first thing they ask is, “Where is the ring?”
Now I do not take any offense and find it quite amusing and have begun to ask back, “Where is yours?”
There is no running away from the fact that our society expects young women to be married at this time. If not then there should be some promising relationship with a guy you can introduce to your mother or your aunt or whoever is important to you in your family set up.
There is a tendency of being pressured and heaping some worry over ourselves and beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea to follow dreams that may render us less accessible to would be suitors.
Here are my thoughts on the marriage factor.
- Never ever pressure yourself or your loved one to marry you because everybody is getting married around you.
- The person who is meant for you, truly loves you and wants to be with you will marry you, no matter what.
I came across a quote by Maya Angelou where she says:
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
If a person does not care enough about you they will always find an exit point from your life.
No matter how saintish you become. Though you work extra hard to portray yourself as the wife material, cooking, cleaning and washing for him. If he does not want you he does not. He can marry your typical “she will never get married type.”
There is absolutely no need to try and pretend to be what you are not to ensnare a man into marriage. Let him fall in love with the real person that you are so that love may last forever.
Never give up your dreams for a man who is not willing to walk you to the alter and remain true to you. In fact never give up your dreams for anything or anyone. The man meant for you will fit perfectly with the dreams you have.
The man meant for you will dream along with you and help you make your dreams come true and not snatch them away.
So like Chimamanda Adichie says, the man who will be intimidated by you, your success, level of education or the expansiveness of your dreams is not the kind of man you should be attracted to. Rather flee from him. If you do not, he will acidify you and leave you hopeless, dreamless and a shadow of what you would have been.
I do not believe there is a formula to getting yourself a marriage
Everything in its perfect time works out for good. So while you are in your mid-twenties like me, work on building your career. Get an education, allow yourself to have fun and date.
Never ever use muti to get a man. All muti I believe has an expiry date. When it does expire you will find yourself resented, you will resent yourself and resent your marriage for its fake foundation.
Rather if you believe in God, pray that God gives you the kind of man you want. Pray that he works on your character so that you can sustain his blessing when it comes because it will. Pray that you can love perfectly, truly, honestly and forever.
Just in a few words