Things mama never said

Things mama never said (I fell in love with this blogger)

When I was younger there was a time when I was sure Mama knew everything! She was the voice of wisdom in my eyes. As the teenage years came along, I began to doubt the prowess of her mind and knowledge. She who once knew all now knew next to zilch. What did she know of boys and love? In my 20-somethings I re-ealized that she did know a lot about a lot of things all along, AND still does. Its me who got hoity-toity and didn’t take the time to listen. What pains me most is the amount of heart-ache I would have saved myself, had I paid even minimal attention.

Most of what is on this page is not what she did not say but what I did not hear.

  • Live your life conscious of the fact that the Man above is watching and will deal with you accordingly.
  • Nothing is new under the sun.
  • Having a man’s baby will not make him love you.
  • Sleeping with a man will not make him love you any more than he already does.
  • Watch your words as they can build or destroy, you cannot call them back once they launch and the wounds are so hard to heal.
  • Women cannot have sex like men, loveless and mindless; they scar. Thing is, even men do not have sex like we think they do, the inner men bears a scar for each and every one of those attempts at recklessness. Most are just too busy pretending to be macho for them to notice.
  • Do not be sexy. Just don’t be there!!! It sounds catchy to learn to “Say No” but do not assume that they “Know how to take NO”; they just do not teach that very well in MEN SCHOOL. Stay away from potentially tricky situations and you will do well, my daughter.
  • Pretending to like what he likes, will not go unnoticed by him for long. Men are not foolish.
  • Love is good and worth having but it is not the “Be all. End all” of life. Get a life, my daughter. A career. Some reasonable measure of wealth. Great friends. A great Body. Interest and hobbies etcetera. Romeo is just one chink of the pie.
  • Do not live to impress the people. Yes, they will watch you but their approval is not the point of your living.
  • It is the things we do and get for free that are the most satisfying in life.
  • Loving a man does not mean that you have to take on his life, his friends, his debt or his battles. Keep your life and let him keep his but let the two rivers mingle.
  • It is not possible for a man that loves you to be violent towards you. The two, violence and love, are like dark and light – they cannot live in the same place. Soon as one comes in the other flees, the darker one that is. Leave the first time.
  • Never say that you love him first. Nature has engineered the love train such that the one that says it first and means it is the weaker element. Though, he may love you too, if you go first his love wont ever grow taller than yours and no woman wants that.
  • If he wants to speak to you he will call you. Once you find yourself calling him and calling and calling without reciprocation check the hand writing on the wall. If he wants to be with you he will make the time and the plans. If you begin to parrot, “So, when are we getting together?” Check the hand writing on the wall.
  • If you find yourself impressing his family and friends over much to get in his good books, think twice. He may not be the one. Its himself that needs to like you not his people.
  • A man will marry you because he wants to be with you. Anything else is second best and will not last “until death do you part”, at some point one of you will begin to resent the union. If you need to convince him then, think twice…
  • While marriage is “till death do us part”, it is not the one that is meant to kill you.
  • Take the time to know him, the man “made to love you” that is. What his opinions and thoughts on things are, what his reactions to certain things are, what he believes, how he handle money and debt and people etc. It will change the rest of your life after you let him into it.
  • Love people, love things but never money. It will take you down as surely as the sun will come up in the morning.
  • Never shut up about abuse of whatever kind. Not just the nastier kinds of people taking advantage of other but even the small ones. Stand up for others whenever you are in a position to and they cant.
  • If you cannot afford it, don’t do it. Afford means, “have the money now” not “I may get it later”.
  • Learn to respect the men in your life. It so rocks their world. Word of caution: Learn well what ‘respect’ refers to, though.
  • Learn to get credit where it is due to you. It is not modesty or Christian-like but stupidity not to.
  • Never lie.
  • ever take what is not your unless given it.
  • While beauty is desirable , do not let it take up too much of your money, time and interest.

Originally posted on

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